#1 Is it my turn next?#2 While you down there…
#3 This is just like what Uncle Jack used to do…
#4 Look sir! I have a Man-gina!
#5 Dr. Spitzer did a great job with the transformation don’t you think?
#6 Be carful, my one-eyed snake bites
#7 Sorry for staring you in the eye
#8 I know you’re impressed!
#9 Usually people take me out to dinner first
#10 He’s got a cold, sometimes his nose runs, but it’s the sneezes you gotta watch out for
#11 Oh so that’s what that does!
#12 WHEEEEEEEE!
#13 That’s nice
#14 I think you forgot to cut your nails
#15 Was it as good for you as it was for me?
#16 Why but the cow if you get the milk for free?
#17 Their names are ‘Good’ and ‘Bad’, right now you must be feeling good.
#18 I’m having a ball!
The truth is, when I got into the doctor’s office at the army recruitment headquarters I had gone through so many stations on different levels of this building (without a lift) that I was quite numb to the whole experience. Initially this expereince was building up in my head to be the most uncomfortable part of the whole process. Luckily the army doctor managed to morph the anxious feeling at the pit of my stomach, into slight disgust.
The man was sitting behind his desk with another future soldier, and whilst interviewing the 17-year-old his fingers where lodged so far up his nose that I was worried they would end up like the Chilean miners (before they got out). His fingers were digging for gold for more time than they were on his keyboard punching in the answers to his routine questions. I just thought to myself: “you’re gonna touch my jewels with those hands?”
Thinking about the bits of booger and snot that was going to end up on my junk distracted me from the idea of a strange man touching me. I was ready. It was going to be like pulling off a band aid… Only pulling down my pants… The only thing that ruined my train of thought was when he said “iz okay, iz okay” which sounded too similar to “me skuzy, me skuzy” (EuroTrip). A wave of violation swept over me along with a shiver of disgust.
So this is what it is to support Israel
